Necessity
by AcerbusEquinomin56
Summary: He really hadn't wanted to come. He really didn't want to, but the thought of not being able to see Kanazawa for the whole break was too much for his uneventful life to handle. Shinobu/Kanazawa.


It was winter vacation. There were few leaves left on the trees. The last paper had been graded and Kanazawa sat in his apartment fulfilled, graciously tired and ready to enjoy the rest of his break, paperless and ambling into the next day. It was even supposed to snow.

His apartment was warm and he had a comfy couch to crash on. His job, however taxing, was secure. Kanazawa felt almost content in the absence of his work. But…

Even sitting there in sweat pants and an old white t-shirt, contemplating the mysteries of his everyday life (where he and his career were going; what he could have done if he'd taken a different degree; where _had_ that pepperoni-mushroom-and-olive pizza come from anyway?), he felt a little lonely now that school had released for respite. No one ever visited him or his warm, if barren apartment. But that gave him an excuse to smoke inside.

Kanazawa wondered if he was getting to the age of owning a cat. No, he thought. Better not think about that.

As Kanazawa looked around for his half empty pack of cigarettes (he was amazed the last batch of papers had only required half a pack), he heard a knock at his door. He stopped, half-flung over the couch looking, and waited to make sure he wasn't mistaken. This didn't happen every day.

The knocking resounded and Kanazawa reoriented himself quickly and carefully so he wouldn't pull anything. He walked over to the door and peered through the peephole. _No_. There must have been some mistake. He unbolted the lock and pulled the door open.

It was Shinobu. And he was…angry?

The usually serene violinist waited a moment for Kanazawa to adjust to his unexpected presence. Once he'd judged an adequate amount of time had passed, he spoke, intensifying the frown he'd come prepared with.

"You're going to kiss me and you're going to like it."

Kanazawa paused.

"Would you like to come in?"

"Gladly."

Shinobu stepped into the kiss, putting one foot into the apartment and keeping the rest of himself firmly out in the hall. He'd pulled on Kanazawa's shirt to engage the man fully without needing to go any further forward. Shinobu pushed up, still pulling down on Kanazawa's shirt, overlapping the minor difference in height with a deep aggressive jaunt. Kanazawa would have reacted a bit more had his ears not perked and caught a peculiar sound of crinkling plastic.

An older woman stood there across the hall in front of an adjacent apartment door, her arms full of grocery bags, with the exception of one that had fallen to the floor. Her face was a bit more than stunned. She had a right to be stunned of course. She'd just spent the past month unsuccessfully trying to introduce the "bachelor" Kanazawa to her daughter.

Kanazawa pulled himself out of Shinobu's lips.

"Ah, Mrs. Sawai, good evening! How was—"

In about three seconds, a swish of plastic and the slam of a door, the woman had vanished from view. Kanazawa rubbed his face while Shinobu repressed a mischevious giggle. His streak of getting people into trouble had persisted since high school…and from the looks of it didn't seem to have retrogressed any.

Kanazawa patted him on the shoulder.

"Well…now that _that's_ out of the way, do you want to come in?"

"Please."

Shinobu sauntered through the doorway with Kanazawa following after surveying the hallway and locking his door once more. Shinobu was standing looking around the apartment, or what there was to look at. A couch, a table weighted down with the hopes and terrible grammar of numerous students, a kitchenette and two doors leading off to other rooms; yep. This was pretty much Kanazawa.

"You can sit down you know."

Kanazawa said as he passed Shinobu on the way to the couch. He flumped down, looking up and waiting for the other occupant to join him.

"You've quite the place."

Kanazawa laughed lightly.

"Hey, I like it."

Shinobu held up his hands defensively.

"Fine, fine. Regardless…"

He walked over and sat down to Kanazawa's left, remaining posed elegantly compared to Kanazawa's slouch, his baggy clothes more than completing the picture.

"It suits you perfectly."

Kanazawa moved to rest the side of his head on his hand, looking sideways at Shinobu.

"I thought you'd say that."

There was a moment or two where nothing moved. Shinobu held his legs tight and in place. Kanazawa let his mind work over the flurry of nervous signals that had come up in the past few minutes. The couch complained just a bit more than usual and the table hoped the people sitting nearby would notice the marvelous job it was doing holding up all those horrible papers.

"Shinobu, what are you doing here?"

"…Well, what a way to start a conversation."

Shinobu almost smirked, relaxing his posture a hair-trigger degree. Kanazawa was still the king of awkward conversations.

"You never visit."

"You can't say that."

A smile.

"Why not?"

"I'm here now, aren't I?"

"A little late for a past example I'd say."

Kanazawa's eyes strayed. He'd forgotten what he'd been doing just before Shinobu had come in and he was trying to remember. Distractions were a problem.

"School's out for a while you know."

"Yes, about time."

Shinobu's face returned a frown.

"Oh?"

"Yeah…"

Kanazawa turned back in wonder.

"Aren't you glad for a break? I mean…even you need to rest sometime."

Shinobu set a little back into his normal feeling.

"I space my rest out with my work. Not all of us procrastinate…you know."

"Yeah, I know, I know. It makes me sick."

He went back to trying to remember. It was hard since he vowed he wasn't going to think for the rest of that day after he got his grades done. What was it? What _was_ it?

"One of the children in my music class today said that I was handsome."

Kanazawa turned in interest.

"Oh?"

"Yes, right before asking me to marry her."

"Ah. Ha."

Shinobu mused, his face softening.

"I told her I couldn't."

"Why?"

"I said I was already seeing someone."

Kanazawa gave him a grizzled look, wondering why he was telling this story. Shinobu laughed.

"She then asked me to tell her about that someone…I eventually told her that she would one day find someone as special as the person I had found."

"You have such a way with children."

"Well, by that time the whole class was listening, so there wasn't much I could do."

_Cigarettes._ Kanazawa's eyes widened. That was it. Cigarettes. He paused and murmured.

"So who're you seeing then? Whoever it is sounds wonderful."

Kanazawa leaned over the couch, looking for that half-empty pack. Shinobu noticed the small white and red box sticking out from between two of the couch cushions. He gently reached over and crammed it down out of view before he chuckled.

"Oh he is, lovely if he'd just stop _smoking_."

Shinobu poked Kanazawa in the ribs, his guard down leaning over. He jerked violently and straightened up, regretting that Shinobu had ever discovered where he was ticklish.

"I already told you many times I have no intention of giving up. And stop _doing _that. One day I might injure myself."

"I can't help but feel pity at what you just said."

Shinobu stood up suddenly, walking over to the inundated table. Kanazawa sighed.

"What are you really here for Shinobu?"

In response, Shinobu just played with some of the papers. The table was pleased. It was a moment before he acted like he'd heard what Kanazawa had asked.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you here? I know there's a reason."

Shinobu closed his eyes and didn't turn around.

"I'm thinking of moving."

Kanazawa blinked, and sat up.

"What? Where?"

"Far away from where I live now…"

Kanazawa might have almost fallen for it, but he smelled a trap somewhere in there. Shinobu should have been a chess player, he thought. He could still make headway if he tried.

"Well…it is winter break, so I could help you move if you wanted…"

Shinobu half turned, a gleam of fury at the very edge of his face, and the rest as serene as he could make it. It died down as he came back over and sat on the far arm of the couch.

"It _is_ winter break."

Kanazawa glanced at his papers, disturbed but unruffled. He should have been a detective. He wouldn't get far now, but at least he wouldn't have to grade papers.

"Do you want to spend a few nights here while you're moving?"

Shinobu was silent for a moment, before falling back on the couch, his head an inch or two from Kanazawa's lap.

"Yes. But I'm not moving."

Kanazawa patted Shinobu's cheek.

"I had a feeling…"

He got up and went into his kitchenette.

"Do you want something to drink? I have soda…and water…and…"

There were some clinkings as Kanazawa reorganized, rapidly trying to hide anything he might have wanted to save for himself. Shinobu looked to the direction of the kitchen, upside down and was overcome with a great feeling of sadness. He could usually push them off, but this one wasn't budging. Kanazawa didn't notice Shinobu hadn't responded.

Shinobu looked at the ceiling, could feel the rough pattern of the couch and deep in its depths, the package of cigarettes still breathing in a new den of toxic secrets. He could hear Kanazawa muttering about how he'd forgotten he'd had _that_ and that _this_ was still good for about two days. He could sense that he'd made a mistake ever setting foot inside the home of the man he loved and he knew that there was absolutely no other choice he could have made other than to come visit.

"If I'm not here in the morning, don't be surprised."

Kanazawa peered over the top of the refrigerator door.

"I won't be. I'll just expect you back sometime before the break ends."

"_See?"_ Shinobu thought to himself.

"_How did I let this happen?"_

There was a little hole in Shinobu's heart, right at the bottom where anything he tried to keep from moving would leak out. Bitterness was too large a blockage to go through. So too was anger and resentment. But compassion, tenderness, and security were all golden glittering waters that dripped from his hopes into a new hole of never getting them back.

He lay on his back and waited for things to equalize. He wished Kanazawa had a heart-stopper in his kitchenette. He couldn't be bothered to fish in the glimmering waters for fear of falling in. For Shinobu, his many, many safety ropes were tying him up.

"Ah! I also have juice! Do you want any? …Shinobu?"

He didn't respond, staring up.

"Shinobu?"

Kanazawa brought the carton of orange juice with him, slightly damp and cold. He came over and stood over the other man, making sure he hadn't passed out with relief that Kanazawa had juice. He was glazed over. Kanazawa put the carton against Shinobu's cheek and in doing so, alarmed him.

"Ah! What are you—?"

Kanazawa laughed.

"Daydreaming?"

"Ah…"

Kanazawa sat down and put the carton down, picking Shinobu's head up for a moment and letting it rest in his lap. He moved his fingers softly over Shinobu's forehead.

"A little sentimental for you, isn't it?"

"No, this is sentimental."

Kanazawa leaned over and kissed Shinobu upside down, the ends of his stubble scratching Shinobu's nose. He'd only stayed there a moment to make sure when he left, the sound of leaving would recognize he had been there. He sat back up and kept moving his fingers.

"What's wrong with you Shinobu?"

"I really hate winter break."

"What? Why?"

"…"

"I like having you around me you know…"

"I know…"

Kanazawa laughed, pulling Shinobu into a sitting position. He thumped his shoulders a couple of times before standing up and stretching, pulling his T-shirt back into place.

"So are you gonna stay here tonight?"

Shinobu considered, a little gleam having leaked through the top of his heart this time; something wild and bright.

"Do you have an extra bed?"

Kanazawa shook his head.

"Then I'm staying."

Outside, it had just begun to snow.

###

A/N:

Hi!

I really wanted to write something wintery before the season was over. I am quite happy that I got to in time. As it happens, the ending sort of sprang up randomly because I looked outside and it was snowing! It's March now, so it doesn't happen quite as often that way, but big flakes of snow were coming down with the sun shining and everything.

And another Shinobu/Kanazawa fic…I don't know what to say about this one. I really wasn't expecting to HAVE another idea when I wrote the first one, but this one presented itself to me back in…December of last year and so I wanted to work on it. And eventually I got to it. I hope this one was as, if not more, satisfactory as the last one was.

As for the characterizations…this one REALLY was something…I don't know how it happened. Shinobu really isn't a dark character, but that seems to be how I write him.

Oh, and the lady. As for her name, the name "Yoshio Sawai" popped into my head, but I could not remember who that person was…until I looked at my manga shelf and realized he's the mangaka for Bobobo…

(a likely candidate)

Also, another explanation for how this piece sort of came to be: I can't get the image of them sitting up in bed, naked, with the sheet covering from ankle to waist, and their feet sticking out at the bottom, Kanazawa smoking a cigarette and Shinobu missing his glasses with his hair messed up out of my head. I don't know what it is, but _there_.

I've talked too long already. ANYWAY. I hope you enjoyed the story and please, PLEASE review!


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